Do you ever
worry whether you've made the right choice about being a
stay-at-home-mom? On good days, you don’t, right? But other days, well, it’s easy to
second-guess your decision to stay at home.
You see
Facebook posts from friends who are “leaning in” and feel jealous of their
professional lives. You miss the respect and intellectual stimulation. You miss the
connections with smart and funny colleagues.
Then you read
the posts from honest friends who are trying so hard to do it all, and, if you were ever a working mom, you remember
the stress. You remember the stress and the mommy guilt. You remember the feeling
of never being able to do anything as well as you wanted (okay, perfectionism may remain a challenge.)
The Fastest Chapter
We have to remind ourselves: life isn't a picture book. It’s a long novel. It’s War and Peace. This chapter is just a
small part of the whole.
When I was working
full time, I had the feeling that if I blinked, I’d miss my kids’ childhoods.
The pages of their lives would flip past, never to be read again.
In fact, the
first couple years of my twins’ lives are pretty much a blur in my memory. I
blame some of it on sleep deprivation, but the rest? Well, how much can you
remember when you’re off working 50-60+ hours per week?
Reading Slowly
I have to admit something
else, though. This time of being a stay-at-home-mom is as much for me as it is
for the kids.
I want to be able to relish their childhood before it slips away.
I want to “read” slowly so that I can remember every detail when we move on to
the next chapter in our lives.
Flashback
A long time before I had kids I made a bucket list of 50 things I wanted to do someday. In between “dive the Great Barrier Reef” (still haven’t done that) and “see the Taj Mahal” (check!), one other item on the list was to have children and stay at home with them for a few years.
I’m living
the dream!!! (Someone remind me of this when we’re all crabby and I've had
ENOUGH.)
Happily Ever After
Being a stay-at-home parent challenges you in all sorts of new ways. You have no choice but to rise to the occasion and become stronger.
Yes, you
make professional sacrifices when you choose to leave the workforce for a while.
Is it worth it? For me it is.
The book-that-is-my-life may be written differently now, but I think it has become a more satisfying story.
You can never get childhood back. I love staying home to watch it all unfold. Nice post! Stopping by from Thoughtful Spot.
ReplyDeleteI feel the most important job a woman can hold (I will probably get slack for this) is raising her children. You have one shot at it and only seeing/being with them a few hours a day can't get that job done well. At least for me, over 20 years ago, was the best decision I ever made. Be content in ALL things wherever God has placed you! Enjoyed your read from Tuesday Talk.
ReplyDeleteThis is so true! Staying at home was a dream of mine, too! But it's a lot harder than I anticipated! Thank you for the encouragement and for linking up with Tuesday Talk!
ReplyDelete7 years ago I became a stay at home mom and left a government job. Lots of folks thought I was crazy. But, I always said that I would one day rather regret leaving my job than not having been home with my children. It was the best decision we ever made...not always easy and fun days, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. Enjoyed your post and just stopping by from Turn It Up Tuesday
ReplyDeleteThanks for linking this at Tues Talk! I'm so grateful to be home with my kids- these years go so fast!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad I chose to be a stay at home mom. I missed a lot of my oldest daughter's formative years. I feel fortunate that I've been able to relish my youngest daughter's childhood.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing (and for linking up to the #SHINEbloghop).
Wishing you a lovely day.
xoxo
You and I share the same sentiment. I recently resigned from my job of 7 years to stay at home with my daughter full time. Thought I made the ultimate sacrifice of bidding farewell to a professional career, nothing beats the time I have with my child. A very good friend of mine also told me that we only get to parent our children once in their lives. The job will always be available when we return, but our children will be grown before we know it. That stuck with me because it's so true. They're only little once. Might as well make it a good one for them and me. Thanks so much for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI've been home with my kids for 20 years and I would not change a thing. Lovely post.
ReplyDeleteI've been a stay at home mom for almost 17 years now. I'm so glad we made this decision. I too feel like I'm living my dream. We're lucky because not everyone gets to do that.
ReplyDeleteOh, the time does go so fast! I became a SAHM just last year. We made the decision two weeks before I was to go back to work. I just couldn't imagine sending my baby to daycare. It was the best decision my husband and I ever made. Careers will be there years from now, but our little ones will be grown.
ReplyDeleteI've been a stay at home mum for two years now and I enjoy it more and more! Its wonderful! Thank you for linking up with the #pinitparty
ReplyDeleteI love being a SAHM! Thanks for linking up at the Thoughtful Spot Weekly Blog Hop! We hope you join us again next week!
ReplyDeleteThis was a lovely, thoughtful, and empowering post. Thank you for sharing so openly about your decision.
ReplyDeleteMommyCrusader.com
Thank you all for the kind and encouraging comments. I wasn't able to keep up with replying to them last week, but I did read and appreciate every single one. I'll try to do better going forward!
ReplyDeleteLindseyLoo, I accidentally hit "Delete" instead of "Publish" - they are right next to each other on my mobile email :( Feel free to retype your sweet comment if you see this!
ReplyDeleteI've been a stay at home mom for almost seven years. I may go back to work in a few years but I'm enjoying it right now.
ReplyDeleteYou're using your time wisely... A lovely reminder about how fleeting childhood is.
ReplyDeleteI have been a SAHM for 12 years now. I can't say I've NEVER regretted the decision...I think to do so would be denying that I am, after all human. I especially have these moments when I'm cleaning pee off the toilet for the 5th time that day...like...really?! THIS is NOT why I earned a college degree.
ReplyDeleteThen my husband reminds me that I have the most important job in the world and helps me see a little further down the road than I can to a time when our children are happy, successful and contributing members of society and he tells me that when they get to that point, it'll be because of the time and love and effort I put in. Being a SAHM is an investment that gives HUGE returns!
Hi Heather. Just wanted to let you know I loved this piece so much that I shared it on my twitter feed. I was going to mention you, but couldn't find your handle on your site. So I figure, I just leave the link to the tweet instead. Lovely piece! Thanks for sharing :)
ReplyDeletehttps://twitter.com/Mbette827/status/596045666595528704
Thank you! This blog is a work in progress. Twitter info is on my To Do list. My handle is booksandgiggles.
DeleteLove this post! There are many times I have missed my career, but I would not give up staying at home and watching my kids grown and develop for anything.
ReplyDeleteI love this! I didn't have a career before kids. It took me a little longer than normal to finish school and got pregnant shortly after. Just like you, though, I am 'living the dream'. I have always wanted to be a stay at home mom, just like my mom did. It can be hard, but you're right. I am living the dream. Thanks for the reminder!
ReplyDelete