So You Want to do the Chicken Dance?

I caught myself once, telling my kids, “No doing the chicken dance in the middle of dinner.”  

Yes, life can get crazy here.

When the kids were babies I dutifully recorded their first words and sentences. I documented every milestone. 

Once we were out of interesting milestones, I decided to start jotting down funny things I’ve found myself saying to them. And so I started keeping a little note card on the side of the fridge. I wrote down all kinds of absurd things that have come out of my mouth over the last several years.

“Peanut butter is not a fruit.”

"Goldfish are not a fruit."

“Why is there a toy screwdriver inside my shoe?”

“Are you really going to eat dinner with an Easter basket on your head?”

You get the idea. Especially if you’re a parent.

Now that my crazies are 6, 6, and 9, they enjoy reviewing this list with me occasionally. I pull it down off the fridge and read it to them, and we all laugh over it together.

So last month, when I was “shopping” on Blogging for Books  looking for a book to review, I was excited to see that graphic designer and father-of-five Nathan Ripperger has created an actual book called Things I've Said to My Children. I thought I’d write a quick book review and give the book to my husband as a small Christmas gift.

Unfortunately, when it arrived, I couldn’t keep it to myself. It was too hilarious not to share! Who could resist sharing quips like:

“Stop riding that penguin, we’re leaving”

“I am NOT talking to you until you are wearing underwear.”

And my favorite,

“No chickens on the trampoline.”

There are some gross quotes as well, such as

“Please don’t eat the goldfish crackers you’ve put in your butt.”

I feel reassured reading all the outrageous quotes in this book. Even if we’re crazy here, we’re not the only ones. 

I think all families of small children deal with the hilarious results of undeveloped impulse control coupled with excess imagination. . . with the mix of scientific curiosity and innocence. Not wanting to miss a single one of these moments is partly why I chose to be a stay-at-home mom. 

All parents, though, enjoy hearing about what little kids say and do. And I guess what we say to them in reaction is really just commentary on what they are doing. Still, if this book were instead Things My Children Did, it wouldn’t have the same punch.

Things I've Said to My Children makes a fitting, light-hearted gift for someone with whom you want to share “the solidarity of parenthood.” It would be fun for a co-ed baby shower or a holiday gift for a friend in the trenches with you. Or just for yourself.

I’ve made a free, simple little printable sized to fit inside the book (or the side of your fridge) for recording your own family’s most outrageous quotes. To get the pdf version, click here.

My kids will soon outgrow the “chicken dance at dinner” stage, at least I sort of hope they will. But we'll always treasure our little notes about the crazy days when they were small.

I received this book from Blogging for Books for this review. All opinions are my own.